Do you ever have one of those days where it feels like absolutely nothing you do is right or good enough? You try and you try and somehow, inevitably, you still come short of the mark you are trying to reach.

As a parent, I feel that way most days. I feel like I have a goal in my mind of what I want to happen, and when my plan is executed, it never quite looks like the original plan. I let my kids down, I let myself down, and sometimes I let God down too.

But there is beauty in brokenness. My kids need to see me mess up. They need to know that I am human too. Darkness is normal for humans. The Bible says men love darkness rather than light because their deeds are evil. When we have received Christ as our Lord and Savior, His light shines through us dispelling the darkness.

That doesn’t mean I don’t mess up. What it does mean is that God has given me grace and allowed me to ask His forgiveness for my failures. And even as important, it allows me to be able to talk to my kids and let them know I messed up and ask for their forgiveness.

Sometimes I think I try to parent in black and white. What I say is the letter of the law. But life isn’t really like that. There are times where mercy and grace must be given. God gives that to me on a daily basis, so how can I not extend that to my kids.

This week, in my Pray the Word Journal from Million Praying Moms, we were talking about Becoming a Servant of God. And every verse we prayed for our kids was a verse that I first had to model for them.

One was to pray that they would lay down their lives in order to gain them. That is a weighty topic for a child. My children have never experienced death close to them. So I have to model for them putting to death the things that God hates and replacing those things with things He loves. That is how we die to our mortal flesh.

Another was giving Jesus our burdens because His yoke is easy and His burden is light. He is asking to take our burdens away. Yet how many times do I try to hold everything in my hands. If I can just balance every single plate that I am holding then none of them will crash and I will be ok. How often do your plates crash? Mine? Nearly every day. Here again, we model this before our kids. We pray and tell the Lord that we need His help. If our kids see us asking for help, it makes them realize that it is perfectly fine for them to do the same thing.

Another verse we prayed was for our children to grow in wisdom. Consider King Solomon. God asked him what he wanted. Basically handed him his own genie in a bottle. Solomon could have asked for massive wealth or a long life. Instead, he asked for wisdom. He eventually did attain the massive wealth. But oh how wonderful would it be to hear our kids praying for wisdom. How do they know to do it? By hearing me do it.

One of the last verses we prayed was for our kids to show fruit in their lives. Once we become children of God, our lives begin to show fruit. We turn away from sin and want to begin living the way God intends. But this is even something we as parents need to model. Truly, our kids need a lot of help in this area because out of the heart is what the mouth speaks. Consider what is going into their brains. Is it tv, video games, inappropriate books? If that is the case, will we see good behavior? No, we will see attributes of the things they are investing. If we model our need for Christ by allowing them to see us reading our Bible, by praying aloud with them regularly and when important things arise, by teaching them how to learn, read, study and appreciate their Bible, then we will see beautiful fruit come through their lives and they will shine out as lights in the midst of a dark world.

On the days we feel like failures, remember we model to our kids every day the way that they will ultimately live. So own your mistakes, ask forgiveness, and pray with them and for them where they can hear you. I have a feeling, while you still won’t have perfect kids, your relationship in the long run will be one of light instead of darkness